Dharma wisdom

You may have seen those lists that say things like “Everything I need to know, I learned from my dog?” Today I, Dharma, will tell you a few things that I think humans need to learn.

1. Cleanliness is overrated. Not only are baths unpleasant, they also remove all sorts of interesting smells. When I sniff your feet or your breath, I can tell what you ate, what you did today, where you went, if you are sick, and what kind of mood you are in. Since most dogs can’t understand people talk, smell is a valuable source of information. Just because you can’t smell very well doesn’t mean your dog doesn’t enjoy a good sniff of the person he loves.

Here is my mommy, letting me sniff around a bit. She even lets me play in the dirt. And see how happy it makes her?

2. The same goes for walks. Smells are more exciting to us than sights. (Especially for those of us who are low to the ground.) Just once, try letting your dog sniff everything that interests him during your stroll. It will be fun for him, and good for you. Haven’t you ever heard the saying “Stop and smell the roses!” Or the pansies, as the case may be.

Sniff!

3. That also means you should slow down, enjoy the moment. Dogs are very good at living in the moment. We don’t need to take yoga lessons to learn to focus, to “be here, now.” You humans worry too much about the future (and the past.) Maybe that is a side effect of your over-developed timekeeping skills. Don’t rush. Just take things in. Breathe deeply, and rub my belly. Even if it makes you late to work.

This belly ain't going to rub itself!

4. Acceptance. Like many dogs, I am a Buddhist. (Bet you could’ve guessed that from my name, huh?) Even humans are not all-powerful. You can’t change everything. Sometimes you just need to go with the flow. Can’t cope? Try taking a nap. Everything will look brighter after a little snooze.

I force--I mean help my humans to relax.

5. As a Buddhist, I also seek to avoid conflict. I think some humans argue just to argue. Dogs play just to play. Sure, to the uninformed human some of our play might look a bit like fighting.But it is all in good fun, without hatred. It is impossible for a dog to hold a grudge. (I don’t hate the V-E-T, I just don’t trust him.)

I assure you, my furless friends, that these few lessons will make you a happier being. And, just maybe, a better person. Just because you aren’t a dog doesn’t mean you can’t try to be more like one.

Simple pleasures bring joy.

Dharma is back!

My mommy says that some people might not like to read a blog entirely written by a doggie. Is that really true? Why? She said it might be "too cutesy." I don't understand. If something is too cute is it just bad because it makes the rest of your life seem dull and ugly in comparison? Please explain.

My daddy had to log in and help fix some typos on yesterday's post. It is hard to type with paws.

The paws in question. I can type really fast since I have four of them.

It would be nice to have opposable thumbs. I could use doorknobs and can openers. I could get in sooo much trouble! Of course, my feet might look kind of funny. I guess I like them fine the way they are. My mommy calls me "Little Miss Pretty Paws." Now that name might be an example of something that is "too cutesy."

I am feeling very famous. Not only do I get to write on this blog, but some pictures of me showed up on another blog. Very nice pictures, too. My daddy takes lots of pictures of me, but his stupid camera makes my eyes look red. They are actually a nice caramel color.

A very artsy photo showing the real color of my eyes.

Sometimes my mommy sings this song to me, "Brown Eyes." It is to the tune of "Green Sleeves."

Brown Eyes is my delight.

Brown Eyes is all my joy.

Brown eyes is my heart of gold.

I stand ready at your paw

To grant what e'er you may have saw,

And all for my puppy, Brown Eyes.

(Repeat refrain.)

I like to sing along. Sometimes I howl so loud that it echoes and sounds like a whole lot of doxies. It is fun when my mommy and daddy and I all sing together. It reminds me of howling with my doggie family. When I was a tiny puppy, I lived in a house with lots of dachshunds. For a while, there were 15 of us! It was fun, but sometimes loud. (Yes, my foster mommy was a very brave woman.)

Of course, there are advantages to being an only dog. I get all the toys, all the noms, and all the attention. Sometimes mommy will rub my belly and daddy will rub my ears at the same time. Doggie heaven! And I have three different beds, all for me. No, I am not spoiled. Surely you admit I deserve it?!? Hmmmph.

It might be nice to have a chance to play with other doggies. I certainly enjoyed doing that at summer camp. Socks, would you like to have a puppy play date? I have a very nice backyard. And last time I had a doggie friend over we had lots of fun. Any other playful pups out there?

Bark blog

Dharma here again. To answer a question, I went to summer camp at Canine Companions. They even have a doggie cam, where you can watch your little fur baby while you are at work. Boy, is it hard looking cute for 12+ hours a day while you’re on TV! Well, it is easier for some of us than for others. For instance, there was a little pug at summer camp. He had charming short little legs like mine, but his whole face was all flat and wrinkly. I tried to lick it to make it better, but he didn’t appreciate that. Poor guy, he panted like crazy in the heat!

This is me, just enjoying the sunshine.

Fortunately, when it got too hot, we went inside to play. When it was over 90 degrees, the little dogs came in. When it got above 92, the big doggies joined us. Well, in a different room. That made it hard to fairly judge our barking contests. Why do humans keep their rooms so cold? You have magical powers to make it light or dark, warm or cool. So why don’t you keep everything at a reasonable 80 or 82 degrees? Especially since you don’t have any fur to keep you warm. (Although I did meet a very handsome human recently. He had fur all over his face. Maybe he can teach my Daddy how to do that, too?)

I suppose you all do look a little funny, all bare and furless. Is that why you wear clothes all the time? My Mommy won’t even open the patio door to let me go outside to take care of business unless she has clothes on. Even when I need to go really bad! It would be so much easier if you all would just grow a bit more fur. It would look better, too. Not to mention saving time, time which could be better used playing with your puppies.

I had lots of fun at doggie camp, but I did miss my parents. Especially at bedtime. But doggie summer camp is better than a hotel. You get to bring your own bed with you. That makes it much easier to sleep in an unfamiliar place. I don’t mind sleeping alone, as long as I have a cozy blanket. My blanket smelled like home, until the silly camp counselors insisted on washing it. Then it smelled funny. Hmmmph!

This is the pink bed and fuzzy blanket I got for Christmas. My old bed is in the background. I just use it for watching TV now.

And we had to go inside if it thundered. I don’t like thunder. It sounds like a great big doggie in the sky is growling at me. It gets so loud it hurts my little ears. Well, big ears, I guess. Sometime all my fur feels staticky and tickly, too. I hate that. All the licking in the world won’t make it better. The very first full day of summer camp we had very big storms. Even the camp counselors were a little scared. It took a long time to herd all the excited puppies inside. But I am special. They carry me up the stairs. The other doggies have to walk in. They must like me best. The thunder wasn’t as loud inside, especially once we all got to barking together. Take that, big doggie in the sky!

Don’t tell my parents how much fun I had at camp. They feel guilty for leaving me behind. And I have been using that to my advantage, just a little bit. The day Mommy brought me back home, I coaxed her back into bed for cuddles. She fell asleep and we napped together for hours. You humans really need to nap more. Preferably with your dog. It would be even better if you would nap in the sun. Why don’t you humans nap in the sun more? It is so warm and relaxing. Sigh. Yawn.

In the big bed, with my buddy, Teddy.
Could someone pull up the covers, please?

Dharma speaks

Hello, readers. This is Dharma, the dachshund. Since my people have been so slow to post lately, I have decided to try taking matters into my own paws. Fortunately, I have very small dainty paws that fit nicely on the computer keys.

Notice the tiny paw

My humans went out of town on vacation recently. They went on a “cruise.” I’m not exactly sure what that it, but they tell me it involves lots of water and lots of food. It also required lots of suitcases. I don’t like suitcases. They often presage disruption in my life. Grrrr.

For some reason, doggies are not allowed on cruises. How great can these cruises be if there are no dogs? So I went to summer camp while my humans went on their cruise. Summer camp was great! There are lots of other doggies. We are divided into two teams: the big dogs and the little dogs. Of course, I am on the little dog team. Sometime we have barking contests. There are more big dogs than little dogs, so that hardly seems fair. They usually win on volume, but we win in barks per minute. Dachshunds have very big voices. My mommy told me this is so we can bark so loud underground (while hunting badgers, don’t you know) that our humans can hear us from above ground. Every dog knows that humans don’t hear so well, so we have to be extra loud.

My mommy says I am her little hearing-ear puppy. I bark to let her know the phone is ringing, the cell phone is beeping, the doorbell is being pushed, or even that there is a bird in the back yard. I am very helpful. I even have special barks for all of those different occasions. This is a very important job and I take my duties seriously. It is nice to just relax at camp for a few days.

At doggie summer camp, there is another little dachshund. His name is Odie. He is very handsome. It’s not that I don’t like other types of dogs, but everybody knows that dachshunds are the cutest dogs. Those other doggies look like they are wearing stilts. Hah!

We get lots of sunshine and fresh air at doggie summer camp. We run and play and then we rest in the sun. There is shade, too, but who would want that when they could lay in the sun? (For sun safety tips, click here.) There is even playground equipment for us to use. We can climb the steps, sit in the little fort, or run through the tunnels. It’s great.

After a long day outside, the puppies are very tired. We get to eat dinner. That’s a special treat for me. I usually only get to eat once a day, at breakfast. That’s what the evil V-E-T told my parents to do. But at doggie summer camp, I get a bedtime snack, too. Then I clean my teeth on my special chewy bone. It is very important to clean your teeth after you eat.

Sometimes, if we’re not too tired, we have another round of barking contests. Or we tell scary stories. I especially like the scary stories about cats. So spooky! Can they really see in the dark? Do they always land on their feet? Can they really pull their claws in and poke them out? Scary, I tell you.

Would you like to hear more from me, Dharma? Or should I let my mommy have the keyboard back again?

My mommy and grandmother, with me at the keyboard.

(At least they didn't get me a matching shirt, too!)