And then. . .

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Four calling birds

Those darn birds, they just keep calling. Luckily, Dharma has a cute little pink phone to answer. Yes, it is a real phone. It usually sits on the bedside table. Emilie always wanted a cute little pink phone. When she saw one at Target, she couldn't resist.

Dharma and her "aunt," Holly

Dharma has made friends with Holly, but Holly is definitely the alpha dog. As long as there are plenty of toys for all, they get along just fine. Is there anything cuter than a doxie? Yes, TWO DOXIES!

Emilie and Dharma, Nancy and Holly

The third day. . .

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Three French hens (scroll down for the rest of the verse)

Dharma says, "Boy, those French hens sure were yummy. Capons, I think they were. The meuniere sauce was just lovely. And they left me these cute hats." Actually, she did get a tiny tidbit of turkey for Christmas dinner. But no gravy, and definitely no pie.

Yep, she's so happy her eyes are glowing. At least its not the red eyed "devil dog" look. What's a devil dog? A little chocolate snack cake. Maybe Dharma could be a Devil Dog for her next Halloween costume?

On the Second Day of Christmas

My true love gave to me two (tasty) turtledoves

No, they're not really turtle doves, they're a chickadee and a cardinal, ornaments from our Christmas tree. Dharma has been very good around the tree, especially after the plastic branches scratched her little nose. Of course, we haven't done anything really foolish, like leaving a wrapped package with dog biscuits in it under the tree.

No, the putative second doxie is not going to be a baby sister for Dharma. She is my mom's dog, Holly. (Yes, she was a Christmas present several years ago, can you tell by the name?) With any luck, we will be able to get them to pose in the same picture without attacking each other or eating the props. And if we do, we will consider that to be a Christmas miracle!

Historical note: when the Song of Solomon in the Bible says "And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land," they don't mean a tortoise-type animal. I always wondered what a turtle's voice sounded like when I was a kid. Remember, English has changed a bit since King James had the Bible translated into English. They mean a turtleDOVE. Makes so much more sense that way. Derek's mom read this passage at our wedding:

For, lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of the singing of birds is come,
And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.

See a lovely turtledove here.

Song of Solomon 2:11-12

The First Day of Christmas. . .

No, Christmas isn't over. It's just begun! In an effort to limit any post-Christmas blues, we will bring you the 12 Days of Dachshunds, with a 12 Days of Christmas theme. (Yes, with any luck, there will be TWO doxies appearing in these pictures.) The first day of Christmas is, well, Christmas. They continue until Epiphany, the day the Three Wisemen visited and brought the first Christmas presents. In the middle ages, the feasting and drinking went on for all twelve days. Of course, they didn't get weekends off from work, so they had to make up for that injustice somehow.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . .

A Puppy and a Pear Tree*

*Botanical acccuracy not included.

Merry Christmas, from Derek, Emilie, and Dharma!

Giving Thanks

A little late, but isn't the whole point of Thanksgiving to be grateful for what you have every day of the year? I really am thankful for many things. Sometimes I feel so lucky that I worry because I don't deserve it all. And, we all know, karma is a bitch. I have a wonderful husband, great friends and family. I have a job I really love, that I am able to do despite my health issues. We have a cute little house of our very own, and an even cuter puppy. But I am also very grateful for little, totally trivial things that make me happy every day. Here are some of them.

1. Lotion. I don't think I'd be alive if I didn't have lotion. I would have shriveled up into a large, pink prune. Lotion is actually a pretty amazing, high-tech invention. It mixes oil and water and keeps them mixed. Just try doing that at home, folks. Before there was lotion, people just slathered on oil. Ick. That's why they talk about anointing kings with oil. Nope, I'll take lotion any day. In all its scented incarnations. Current favorite: Burt's Bee's Almond Milk and Beeswax Hand Cream. Dharma says it is quite tasty, too. I'll just take her word for it.

2. Knee socks. I do love cute, fuzzy socks in general. And I love knee socks even more. They make me feel warm and cozy just looking at them. And Derek thinks they're cute. A-hem. And I love it that knee socks keep me snug even when my nightgown rides up around my knees. Why do they do that? And, while I'm wondering, why don't they make pjs with feet in my size?

3. Candles. I love the light, the motion, the soothing distraction. And the scents. I even like lighting more than one scented candle at once: cinnamon and apple make an apple pie scented room. Vanilla and almond make cookie scented. Tee-hee. And I am very grateful that I don't NEED to see by candles. I can flip on a light and read by it, while I enjoy a purely decorative candle. Much nicer than squinting to sew by hand in candlelight.

4. Books. I love it that I can have tons and tons of books. So many that I learned to speed-read during grad school. What a luxury to have so many books that I can devour as many as I want and never run out. I estimate that I own about 1000 books, not including Derek's books. The library at the medieval monastery of Melk, in Germany, was famous all over Europe for its huge library. They had about 300 books.

5. And libraries. I still can hardly believe that I can go borrow as many books as I can carry for free. And movies and music, too. I read all sorts of things I would never actually pay money for, like The Physics of Star Trek and The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dog Tricks and every book the library has about crocheting and interior decorating. They have a whole book about buying a couch. And that's just the public library. There's also the IU library. I actually don't usually go there. I have bad memories of that library, including fainting once in the stacks. (Orthostatic hypotension, I bent over to grab one too many books on the bottom shelf, then passed out when I stood up.) Not to mention the general bad memories of grad school and IU. And to think IU actually called and asked me to donate money to the history department. Uh, let's just say I don't think they'll be calling me again.

6. The internet. Besides the endless goofing off potential, it also lets me access things quickly and easily. I even love the serendipitous misleads I get on Google. When a student asked about syphilis in class the other day (we were talking about the impact of disease on history, like Jared Diamond's Guns Germs and Steel theory.) And I could immediately pull up pictures of the lesions and of a map showing its (theoretical) spread from the New World to the Old. I don't think THOSE students will be practicing unsafe sex any time soon!

7. Bellydance. I love dancing, and I like bellydance best of all. It is still amazing to me that I am able to dance at all with my joint problems. But I can actually do this. I read an article in Arthritis Today magazine in which a doctor said something like "My patients who exercise tell me they hurt after they work out. But my patients who don't exercise tell me they hurt 24 hours a day." So, yes, it hurts my joints, but I think it is good for me. Mentally, too. I love the ladies I dance with, especially the other members of our troupe. And I love performing. I think I draw energy from the dancing, rather than being worn out by it. Is that possible?



I was going for a top-ten list, but I think these seven things are quite enough. Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for. And, no, I didn't forget your doxie dose:

I think the most appropriate caption for this pictures is "Slllluuuurp!!!"

Dharma, The Ecdysiast

Inspired by a previous post, Johnson's Meeting House's designated Poet Laureate penned the following verse and agreed to let us share it with everybody...

The Ecdysiast

Doubt she’ll ever have the
Notoriety of Gypsy Rose Lee;
Or appear on the Sho-Bar stage
Baring all for the world to see.

Never walk the streets of Dallas
Oozing sensuality of a “bur-le-que” queen.
Or grace, like Candy Barr,
The pages of Oui Magazine.

She’s not likely to wave fans
With a feather boa around her throat.
Her favorite dress of choice
Is a cuddly leopard skin coat!

Nor enter the Hall of Fame
Like many ladies of the past;
She’s Bloomington, Indiana’s
One and only, Dharma, the ecdysiast!

Tom—November 2008

Not so cheerful

I have been very remiss in posting lately. I have been really down for a week or so. One of my students committed suicide. I was really upset. Partially because I feel like I should have noticed something was wrong, said something, done something different . . . And partially because of the really horrible things people said about suicide, depression, and mental illness. Coworkers, other students, and so forth said really ignorant, bigoted things. I think of someone who committed suicide after struggling with mental illness for years as someone who finally lost the fight with a difficult disease. I don't believe people who commit suicide go to hell, I just can't believe in that kind of God. No, people who are depressed are not worthless, the world is not better off without them, and they are not to blame for their condition any more than people with heart disease or cancer. So for a while I alternated between guilt, depression, despair and fury. That pretty much took all of my energy.


Derek fed me and took care of me and put up with me. (I recommend white foods as an antidote to the darkness of depression: pasta, alfredo sauce, clam chowder, ice cream, swiss cheese on crackers and those white chocolate Lindor truffles.) And Dharma cuddled me, licked the tears off my cheeks, and tried to cheer me up. And, eventually, it worked.



Then, just when I felt a little better and needed some cheering up, my good friend Dr. Mrs. Bloomingtonaut came to town and invited me to a party. It was just what I needed. I took a blueberry pie and had a very nice time.


Next posting: a belated list of things I am thankful for.

Cloudy, with some flurries

Yes, today we had snow flurries. Luckily, Dharma was prepared. She knew just what to wear. Pink leopard print fur.


It isn't very slimming, but it is very warm. And it keeps her tummy warm better than her tweed cape. Do you think she looks like she should be on the Flintstones? Very retro-chic.

The first time she tried it on, she didn't like it very much. So we now present, for your viewing enjoyment . . .

The Dachshund Ecdysiast

The End

Preparing for Winter

Here at Johnson's Meeting House, we have been stocking up for winter like a pair of hungry squirrels. Our cute little pantry is full.

And we have moved on to the garage for storage. It is very important not to run out of Kleenex during cold and flu season, or out of toilet paper during a snow storm.


Our freezer is full, which is supposed to help it operate more efficiently.


But it is perhaps not as organized as this one. (See more and buy stuff here.)

We went grocery shopping tonight to top off our stores. Emilie was quite proud of herself. The total was over $120, which included saving $27.32 on sale items. Then we watched it go down. We saved $14.90 in coupons. Then $1.80 in doubled coupons. Then $10 in instant rebates. In the end, the total was $76.70. We also got a credit for ten cents off per gallon of Kroger gas. And then they gave us more coupons to play with next time (annoyingly, for things we had just bought.)


I sort of feel like I won a Cracker Jack prize. We bought so many things for our $76.70 that our receipt was almost 1.5 dachshunds long!


Which is sort of like the unit of measurement known as a Smoot. But smaller and cuter. And furrier. Bearing in mind, of course, that the length of a dachshund varies with temperature.

Pie Preferences

Even if you're not going to be joining us for our pie party, I would still like to know: what is your favorite kind of pie? As a food historian, I am also curious: why is it your favorite, and where did you grow up? So, we'll see if there are regional differences. And I will have lots of good ideas for the pie party.

Left to right: pumpkin, cherry, chocolate pecan, and key lime.

Unfortunately, the survey feature on Blogger is a bit limited. You can choose one of the flavors on the survey at left, above. But to tell me the rest, you will need to post a comment.

One more question: would it be a faux pas to let Dharma wear her Tootsie Roll costume to the pie party, even though Halloween is over?

Patriotic Puppy says to Vote!

Don't forget to vote. To inspire you, here is a picture of a very patriotic puppy. (With a color-coordinated Derek, too.)

Dharma says "Now, go out there and make me proud!"

Behind the scenes

How do we get such cute pictures of Dharma? We take dozens, and usually one of them turns out okay. Here Dharma asks "Is that pumpkin following me?" It was, actually. We kept moving it in an attempt to get a picture of her next to the pumpkin.


She also asks "Is this thing edible?" It is. Or, rather, it will be. When we have our annual Pie Party the day after Thanksgiving. Any readers who want to wrangle an invitation are welcome to contact us. Of course, those of you who have been invited in the past will be invited again. I also take pie requests. I think Dharma is hoping for steak and kidney pie, but that probably won't be on the menu.

And, for our loyal reader in Greenwood, we offer the ultimate in behind-the-scenes shots: Doxie 'Tocks!

I know it's silly, but I think dachshunds have the cutest little rears. And when they walk, they try to take such big steps with their little legs that the whole back end wiggles. Tee-hee. My mom has so many pictures of her two dogs running into the pictures she takes of people that she is thinking of writing a whole book of doggie butt photos. I think she will need a faster camera, to eliminate the tail-moving blur. Which was so masterfully depicted by Balla in this painting:

Happy Hallo-wiener!

Dharma was a Tootsie Roll for Halloween. Well, she is just the right color and shape for it. I only made the "wrapper."




Emilie, the Good Witch, says "I will put a spell on you. It will make your eyes turn green and glow in the dark. I'll get you, and your little dog, too! Bwah, ha, ha!"

Walkin' in a Wiener Wonderland

This week it has finally started to feel like fall. So Dharma has been wearing her little coats. This pink one is from Emilie's mom. It says "Puppy Love." (It could also say "Crazy Human!" but that would be redundant.)


Dharma wore her jacket for a Winter Wonderland themed photo shoot. The hood is cute, but it doesn't really fit over her ears. So it is purely decorative.



Which picture do you think we should use for our Christmas cards? I think the Christmasy one is cuter and very festive, but the Arctic one is nice and non-denominational.

Once you decide which Presidential Candidate to vote for, you can vote on our Christmas card picture.

Eat your heart out, Coco Chanel!

Of course, Dharma also has formalwear.


Here, she poses in a Chanel knockoff jacket, from Target. for $2.50. I love Target. And I love my doggie! She is SUCH a good sport. And, unlike a child, is unlikely to grow up and need therapy because I put her baby pictures on the internet. Good thing, too.

Sherlock Dharms

You know how compulsive gamblers can ask to be put on a special list so the casinos won't let them in? I think I might need a list like that for certain stores. On Friday, I managed to avoid the yarn store, but I did go to the Chocolate Emporium and London Dog. As I type, I am eating bridge mix from the Chocolate Emporium (with no icky raisins!) And I bought Dharma a very overpriced tweed jacket from London Dog. But see how cute it is? Doesn't she look vedy, vedy British? A bit like Sherlock Holmes, but without the pipe? They had hats, but I think that people who put hats on their dogs are even crazier than people who buy them little winter coats. And it was hard enough to keep her from eating the coat, since it has fuzzy lambswool lining that is, apparently, quite tasty.



I also gave in to the latest craze of arranging books to say clever things with the titles. In an effort to avoid total chaos in bookland, I only made one stack.


But I can see how addictive this game could become.

Holidog

Since Dharma was so good at modeling, we thought she might like to have her picture taken for our Christmas cards. (We don't have kids, so we can't put their picture on our cards, after all.) She really seemed to enjoy the attention, and she was quite good at posing for treats. We like this picture of her in front of the fireplace.


On the other hand, not every shot was so successful. And she tried to eat some of the "props." Silly me, I didn't know bows were edible!

Double Dachshund Dose!

To make up for the long dearth of daily doxies, here is a double dose. Kind of like the Daily Double on Jeopardy. I may be a crazy person who dresses her dog up in clothes, but my mother is definitely enabling my bad habit. She made Dharma a tiny bandanna. People keep asking "How old is he?" when they see tiny Dharma, so my mother made her a pink bandanna. Real bandannas are far too big for her, they look like superhero capes on her! (Her superhero alter ego is known as Hyper Pup, who can ALMOST fly at top speed.)

Dharma liked the pink one so much, my mother (not known for her moderation) made her a little Halloween bandanna, too. It has glitter on it, so now the whole living room (and the whole puppy) is festively dusted with glitter.


Now, I just have to make Dharma's Halloween costume. . .

Daily Dachshund Dose Returns!

Dharma, in her fire-hydrant ornamented tee-dress.

Back by popular demand, more Dharma news! Recently, Derek and Emilie have been working too hard and not blogging very much. Emilie is seriously reconsidering her desire to teach 4 classes a semester.

Dharma has started a new career: fashion model. We all went to a Humane Society fundraiser at the local dog park. A big dog off his leash got too friendly and (literally) scared the poop out of Dharma right at the beginning. But then she found some little doggies to play with, including a doxie with two little (human) girls. Dharma was invited to model some clothes for the fashion show by London Dog. And, just like a real model, she got to keep the clothes she wore in the show. It was fun, and we helped to raise $26,000 for local doggies in need of help.

Dharma struts her stuff (with a little encouragement from Emilie.)

More updates to come. After I write a midterm for my U.S. History class. . .

Note: on most web browsers, you can click on the pictures to zoom way in, for ultra-close-ups of the Daily Dachshund.

Good fences make good doggies?

Finally, we got our fence installed! We had to get approval from our Home Owner's Association. So, you know, we didn't put up a less-than yuppified fence. I wanted a white picket fence, since our house is gray with cute white trim. But, no, you can't have a painted fence. Or a wrought iron one. You can only have a wooden fence, and you can't paint it. Seriously. There is actually someone who had to look at the drawings and plans and say "Yes, that appears to be a wooden fence" and then approve it. Seriously.


But we have a fence now. And Dharma is so happy that she can run around in the backyard without a leash. We still go outside with her, to keep an eye on her. She might be carried off by one of the ominously circling turkey buzzards from the nearby quarry. She might eat too many crickets and barf them up (oh, gross!) Or, most likely, she might dig under the fence and escape.


I apologize for not posting recently. The Ivy Tech semester has begun. Here is a picture of me on the second day of classes. Derek wasn't around to take a picture on the first day, he left before I made it out of bed. Notice the small dog in the foreground. No, I didn't take the dog to work, this was taken in our living room.


And, in contrast, here is a picture of me belly dancing at the Fourth Street Festival of the Arts and Crafts. Derek took this picture, too. He is our unofficial troupe photographer and "roadie."


As you can see, we've been busy!

More guests

My parents have come and gone, leaving Dharma with far too many treats and toys. And a new pink cushion.


They gave us housewarming gifts, too. For me, a cute little table for the entryway. As you can see, it is a good place to put more books.



For Derek, two utility shelves for the garage. (Boy, what an exciting present!) He is filling them up as fast as he can.


We ate too much, shopped, and watched the Olympics (accompanied by lectures on the greatness of Jim Thorpe, provided by my Dad.) But our favorite activity was playing with the puppy.


Dharma was so spoiled by all the attention that she pouted all day when they left. She kept checking the guest room to see if they were in there, then she sat by the garage door, hoping they would return.


Don't worry, Dharma. We'll take you to see them at Christmas!

Guest Room, Phase Two

My parents are coming to stay with us in less than a week. So we have been refining the guest room decor. We did finally find a nice "Bed-in-a-Bag" on sale at Sears. I think it is nice for a small, Japanese-themed bedroom. Soothing, not too busy, not excessively "girly." (For girly, see the pics of my bathroom!)

And it has cute matching sheets, too:


I found a cheap, decorate-your-dorm poster and frame on sale. I would like to think it fits the theme of the guest room, while bringing in some of the warmer colors from the living room.


And, following a suggestion from Madame Dr. Bloomingtonaut, I added more scrapbook paper to the wall.


Next, I need to scrub the bathroom. That's not nearly as much fun as picking out color-coordinated papers, but it is perhaps more important to my guests!

Don't worry, you can still vote on wall colors. See the post below.

And, yes, here is your daily dachshund dose!

I think this picture is kind of cute, but also kind of nutty. Dharma is sitting in a little doggie bed that looks like a crib. It came in the mail today from my mom. I do think the golden color sets off her fur nicely, though.