Dharma speaks

Hello, readers. This is Dharma, the dachshund. Since my people have been so slow to post lately, I have decided to try taking matters into my own paws. Fortunately, I have very small dainty paws that fit nicely on the computer keys.

Notice the tiny paw

My humans went out of town on vacation recently. They went on a “cruise.” I’m not exactly sure what that it, but they tell me it involves lots of water and lots of food. It also required lots of suitcases. I don’t like suitcases. They often presage disruption in my life. Grrrr.

For some reason, doggies are not allowed on cruises. How great can these cruises be if there are no dogs? So I went to summer camp while my humans went on their cruise. Summer camp was great! There are lots of other doggies. We are divided into two teams: the big dogs and the little dogs. Of course, I am on the little dog team. Sometime we have barking contests. There are more big dogs than little dogs, so that hardly seems fair. They usually win on volume, but we win in barks per minute. Dachshunds have very big voices. My mommy told me this is so we can bark so loud underground (while hunting badgers, don’t you know) that our humans can hear us from above ground. Every dog knows that humans don’t hear so well, so we have to be extra loud.

My mommy says I am her little hearing-ear puppy. I bark to let her know the phone is ringing, the cell phone is beeping, the doorbell is being pushed, or even that there is a bird in the back yard. I am very helpful. I even have special barks for all of those different occasions. This is a very important job and I take my duties seriously. It is nice to just relax at camp for a few days.

At doggie summer camp, there is another little dachshund. His name is Odie. He is very handsome. It’s not that I don’t like other types of dogs, but everybody knows that dachshunds are the cutest dogs. Those other doggies look like they are wearing stilts. Hah!

We get lots of sunshine and fresh air at doggie summer camp. We run and play and then we rest in the sun. There is shade, too, but who would want that when they could lay in the sun? (For sun safety tips, click here.) There is even playground equipment for us to use. We can climb the steps, sit in the little fort, or run through the tunnels. It’s great.

After a long day outside, the puppies are very tired. We get to eat dinner. That’s a special treat for me. I usually only get to eat once a day, at breakfast. That’s what the evil V-E-T told my parents to do. But at doggie summer camp, I get a bedtime snack, too. Then I clean my teeth on my special chewy bone. It is very important to clean your teeth after you eat.

Sometimes, if we’re not too tired, we have another round of barking contests. Or we tell scary stories. I especially like the scary stories about cats. So spooky! Can they really see in the dark? Do they always land on their feet? Can they really pull their claws in and poke them out? Scary, I tell you.

Would you like to hear more from me, Dharma? Or should I let my mommy have the keyboard back again?

My mommy and grandmother, with me at the keyboard.

(At least they didn't get me a matching shirt, too!)